Pregnancy loss. Recurrent loss. Forever loss.

October is Pregnancy Loss Awareness month.

Every, single, year, I plan to share more of my story than I already do/have. Every, single, year, I back away.

My youngest child, our rainbow baby, will be 4 soon. This means even more years than that have passed since our losses.

2017. April. August. December. Back…to…back. Without reason. The dates on my arm to somehow mark the holes in my heart. All the other dates, due dates, birthdates, insert all significant dates, awash in my mind. I can’t keep them straight anymore. I try not to try.

October 2022. No different than last year. It's Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month. I do what I can. I advocate as always. I do the work that brings me joy. I do it with holes in my heart. I back away. Just a bit. Keeping some part of the pain just for me.

Forever loss is just that. Forever.

(If you need help navigating loss please contact hello@themotherhoodproject.ca to access resources of support)

xo

Jen

Jen Delmaire is the founder of The Motherhood Project, a holistic wellness community for moms based in the Vancouver Lower Mainland.